


Hybrid Havoc

by geckohorns



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Baking, Brotherly Bonding, Enderman-Ghast Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Piglin Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo can't eat for SHIT, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29721645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geckohorns/pseuds/geckohorns
Summary: Being a hybrid in the world of the Dream SMP has its pros and cons. [REQUESETS ARE CLOSED]
Comments: 44
Kudos: 266





	1. !Requests!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [CURRENTLY CLOSED!]

Hello!! geckohorns here with another book that nobody really needed but is going to provide to the public anyway ;)  
The book here is intended to be full of oneshots based around the instincts/quirks that surround the hybrids in the dsmp.  
The hybrid/non-human characters are as follows for this story:  
===  
Quackity - Duck hybrid  
Tubbo - Ram hybrid  
Jschlatt - Ram hybrid  
Sam - Creeper hybrid (pure blood)  
Ranboo - Half Enderman Half Ghast hybrid  
Philza - Crow hybrid  
BadBoyHalo - Demon (full blooded)  
SapNap - Demon (quarter blooded)  
Fundy - Fox  
Skeppy - Diamond Golem hybrid  
Puffy - Sheep hybrid  
Dream - ....Dreamon? Demon? idk  
Techno - Piglin hybrid (pure blood)  
Antfrost - Cat hybrid (pure blood)  
FoolishG - Shark/Totem hybrid  
===

Requests are much needed! I have one work in the...works atm but I need more ideas, lol!  
I wont be doing NSFW and self harm/suicidal themes, but I will do blood/gore.


	2. Ranboo - Carnivore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST ONE AYYYEEEEEEE  
> Gonna start working on requests now yayy

Tubbo wasn’t really one for baking. Even when his father was alive the most he’d do in the kitchen is microwave a frozen meal or stir up a pot of mushroom soup. Anything past that was brand new territory, and with brand new territory came with a whole new experience. Being the sentimental type he was, he decided to invite one ender hybrid to his home in Snowchester to help him with his new project - a cake. He was taking out the container of day old strawberries out of his fridge when the tall figure opened his door, snow blowing in after him.  
“Ranbooo!” Tubbo shouted happily with flapping ears, tail wagging in excitement. He shut the fridge with the heel of his boot, setting down the berries next to the bag of flour.  
“Heya Tubbs!” Ranboo kicked the snow off his tread, steading himself on the doorframe. He shivered slightly, gloved claws gripping on each flap of his coat, “you get it pretty bad down here, don’t you?”  
The ram hybrid shrugged, jogging over to the door to shut it, protecting his house from the angry outdoors. Ranboo nodded in a show of thanks, peeling off his now soaking gloves to discard them on the hearth just to the right of him.  
“You get here okay?”  
Ranboo nodded and removed his coat. He hung it up on the coat hanger with a twitch of his tail, “Ran into a couple dogs. Nothing horrible. Threw a few bones at them and I was on my way.”  
“Dogs, huh?” Tubbo strayed off back into the kitchen. “I hope we don’t start getting a dog problem around here. The animals around here have been getting few and far between too…”  
“Well that’s not good.”  
“Not at all my friend, not at all.” The smaller hybrid took out the rest of what he needed to make the perfect cake - a few steel measuring spoons and a plastic measuring cup.  
“But no need to worry about all that now. It’s cake time!” He chuckled lightly, scrambling around on the countertop to get the small scrap of parchment he had written instructions down on. Tubbo sighed in relief once his eye caught it and plucked it out from under the bag of powdered sugar.  
“Ever bake a strawberry cake before?” He questioned as Ranboo grew closer to the kitchen, the tall youngling ducking under the frame that led into the kitchen. Ranboo replied with the shake of his head.  
“Really?”  
“Well,” Ranboo glanced up at the ceiling, “I’ve seen Niki bake something like that before. It was small and round but...I don’t know what it was.”  
“Cookies. Probably cookies.”  
“That's a weird word...cookies.”  
For two teens with minimum knowledge on the baking scene, their cake was coming out quite alright! Sure it was leaning a bit to the left and had a few dips in the middle but it was totally edible and that’s what mattered, right? Tubbo was getting a bag ready to tube frosting as Ranboo sat on a stool built near the kitchen island, staring at the strawberry container that was wide open. He squinted - what even was a strawberry? There weren't any straws in it, so why the weird name? But yet again, straws poking out of your berry would probably make it far less appetizing. He mumbled to himself as he reached across the island, hooking a claw into the side of the plastic to drag the container over.  
“Do you mind if I try one?” Ranboo piped up, daintily picking out a thick ruby red berry out of the dozens by the stem. Tubbo looked up from his half filled bag, only paying half attention to the task at hand, “Yeah sure. Don’t eat too many though.”  
The ender hybrid nodded his head in appreciation, a small chirp escaping his lips as he happily bit at the strawberry. The splash of flavor hit his purple tongue instantly, taking him by surprise. His eyes shot wide open, hissing static as he slapped the berry away.  
Tubbo jumped at the unexpected hissing, bag of frosting splattering onto the floor. He only mourned it for a moment before looking up at Ranboo who was currently hunched in the chair, hissing at the quarter eaten berry.  
“Yo, what did it do to you?” The younger inquired, ears flat.  
Ranboo’s pupils widened from their previous slitted forms, back hunching as his instincts began to subside. He shook his head, almost like a dog when it was wet, and grunted.  
“That’s this realm’s plant-eater food, isn’t it?” He threw a question back, seemingly out of breath. Tubbo stared at Ranboo’s shivering arms as he slowly deflated.  
“What do you mean dude?”  
“It’s herbivore food.”  
“And?”  
“Ghasts can’t have stuff that comes from plants,” He sighed shakily. “Endermen don’t like most plant-eater food either. Only thing I can stomach thats plant based is like...Chorus Fruit I guess.”  
“What’s Chorus Fruit?”  
Ranboo blinked, “D-don’t worry about it.”  
Tubbo and Ranboo stayed in uncomfortable silence as the latter regained himself. Tubbo made work of the frosting on the floor, smearing it around the wooden planks before just taking a mop to it. Ranboo kept thoughts to himself, sitting straight up with claws entwined, rubbing his palms together nervously as he felt apologies begin to bubble over his anxious need to stay mute. And since it was Ranboo, the apologies didn’t stop.  
“I get it, I get it. It’s okay! Really!” chuckled Tubbo, standing the mop in the corner of the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips, looking straight at Ranboo’s horns to avoid eye contact.  
“I really don’t care, don’t stress about it. But what I do care about is that the frosting I’m using already has traces of berry in it.” was said with a newfound frown. Ranboo mirrored the frown as well, ears drooping.  
“Aw man.”  
“Yeah...sorry about that one mate,” Tubbo jerked his head, “But I do have an idea of what we can do for you.”  
___

“What in Notch’s name is THAT?”  
Ranboo flinched under the brief condescending gaze Tubbo threw his way. Tubbo rolled his eyes and set down a cast iron skillet filled to the brim on the stovetop that was built into the kitchen island. Ranboo perked up in his seat, the smell of beef knocking around in his nose. His tail wagged behind him.  
“This, my good friend, is a meat cake.”  
The ender hybrid’s head shifted as he nearly climbed over the table to get a good look at it. The wisping steam blew past his bangs and horns.  
“It smells so good man…”  
“Well, I made it for you! Since you can’t have the other cake we made,” The ram pointed towards the finished white cake that sat nearby, strawberry halves lined around the top, “I wanted you to at least come away from this with a smile. It was the least I could do.”  
Ranboo didn’t need any more of a prompt to know that the food was his. Purple particles flew around him as he jumped onto the table, crouched down, and began to shovel the hot food into his mouth like it was no problem. Tubbo watched with half amazement and half confusion.  
...At least he was happy?


	3. Tubbo - Wardrobe Malfunction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: the_Oli_is_a_lie (oliczek23)!

Horns were pretty cool! They looked cool, felt cool, overall just very pog. That’s how Tommy saw it.  
But Tubbo? He didn’t think as highly of them.  
Tommy found this out one morning when he was gnawing away at half-stale bread from last night, lounging at the table waiting for his newly acquired roomie to wake up. The fact that Tubbo didn’t get up in the asscrack of the morning with him was a crime, Tommy thought as he spat out a bit of bread that was just too hard for his molars to cut through. He groaned and dropped the bread loaf on the table, dramatically pushing himself out from the table and getting out of his chair. Tommyinnit aka the Biggest Man Ever to Exist Ever wasn’t about to be bored for a second longer.  
His fist came crashing down on the recently installed door, “YO LOSER! GET YOUR ASS UP!”  
“I’m up, I’m up! I’m just-”  
“YOU’RE NOT HANGING OUT WITH ME THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”  
“It’s not li-”  
“I’M COMING IN AND THERES FUCK ALL YOU CAN SAY ABOUT IT!”  
Chest puffed, he kicked the door open. Safe to say he wasn’t expecting Tubbo in the middle of his room, the upper most of the brown haired boy swallowed by a mossy green sweater. The two nubs that poked out from under the fabric made laughter crawl up his throat. He bit his lip as he kept his comically loud laughter back.  
“W-whatcha doin’ there?”  
Tubbo sighed, tail flopping limply in a sign of defeat - the sweater had clearly gotten the best of him. His sweater sleeves bounced as he tried once more to force his sweater back on in complete spite.  
“Alright now you’re just gonna hurt yourself.” Tommy rolled his eyes, letting himself in without any form of permission whatsoever, because nobody could tell Big Man what to do, and grabbed the stretched collar that was caught in the evergrowing ram horns that weaved their ways through chesnaught waves. He stretched it out firmly, giving a time of brief opening for Tubbo’s head to get through safely. Tommy should’ve thought twice, for as soon as Tubbo got his head through, his horns came crashing into Tommy’s forehead. Instantly dazed, he stumbled back with a hand quickly coming to the spot where he was hit.  
“O-oh man, shit, I’m sorry Tommy.” Tubbo grit his teeth, looking away as he got his arms comfortably through the sweater sleeves. As soon as the room stopped spinning, Tommy growled and rubbed the new irritated bump.  
“That’s how I’m thanked, huh? A literal wholloping. How nice!”  
“I said I’m sorry!” The ram whined. He took it upon himself to peek at Tommy’s injury, moving Tommy’s own hand away from it. He’s seen worse for sure, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.  
“I’ll get some ice,” Tubbo sighed with the ghost of a smile. “Just go sit down.”  
\---  
“Stupid, stupid things.”  
Tubbo ranted as he took his seat next to Tommy on the beaten up couch, arms thrown over his head. Tommy raised an eyebrow from under the makeshift ice pack, turning his head to look at his brother.  
“You talkin’ shit about your horns again?”  
The ram hybrid puffed his rosy cheeks out, not bothering to answer. The blonde’s eyes narrowed.  
“They’re cool though.”  
“No they’re not! All they do is...hurt people!”  
“Hurting people is fun though.”  
“Not when it’s you!” Tubbo cried out, arms coming down from his head.  
“Drama queen much?” Tommy laughed lightheartedly, picking himself off the couch to put his ice pack down. He turned back over and leaned over, the pad of his pointer finger playing on a ridge of Tubbo’s right horn.  
“They’re not hurting me now, are they?”  
Tubbo shook his head.  
“Exactly,” He poked at the dull tip, “They’re not dangerous. You just gotta be careful with the lil’ buggers. Learn to love ‘em.”  
The hybrid looked down at his socked feet in thought.  
Maybe he could learn to love them.  
...With a little help.


	4. Techno - All That Glitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @Dull_Rainbow !  
> I'm not used to writing Techno so I hope its not too OOC haha

Ranboo walked with a bounce in his step, sack thrown over his shoulder. He had just finished his daily trip to the Nether, ending up with exactly what he was looking for. It wasn’t special - to him anyway - but word on the grape vine (aka Phil) was that Techno had a special affinity to what he was able to mine out. Had to do something with his heritage. Ranboo didn’t read too much into it. But with how unsteady loyalties laid on the server, he thought it’d be a good idea to strengthen his own with the Blood God.  
“Oh he’s so gonna go crazy. He’s gonna be all like ‘oh my Notch you’re the best Ranboo!’ and I’m gonna be all like ‘Nooooo you’re too nice!’ and we’re gonna be best friends for life.” He dreamed while his feet trudged through heavy snow. Oh how he could only imagine the look on Techno’s face!  
Soon after his daydreaming, he arrived at the house Philza and Techno took residence in. They were currently doing repairs on the roof after a cave in and in the back corner of the house where a creeper had lovingly blown a chunk. The pink glimpse in the side of his eye was enough to prompt a smile.  
“G’day down there!”  
Ranboo looked up to find Phil, knelt down on the roof of the house with stacks of stone laying next to him, each being applied one by one in layers. He waved with his usual ‘shit-eating’ grin as Tommy would put it. Ranboo happily waved back.  
“How’s the roof coming along?”  
“Pretty good! Probably...five more hours of this shit and we’ll be good to go!”  
Ranboo dropped the sack gently on the snow to give Phil ecstatic two thumbs up. Phil’s feathers puffed as he let out a hearty laugh, the little antics reminding him of his other sons.  
“What’s all the talking for? Shouldn’t you be working?” Techno’s voice cut the air. Ranboo went stiff as the tall piglin closed the gap between them, well-used diamond pickaxe slung on his shoulder. He didn’t look like he wanted to be fucked around with today. Ranboo couldn’t blame him, he’d be grumpy too if his house was falling apart at the seams.  
“Sorry-uh-uh I’m sorry, I was just saying hi to Phil.” Ranboo stuttered wildly, going to quickly haul his sack back up to his side. The piglin snorted and wrinkled his snout, stomping his hoof in the snow with unforgiving force.  
“Now’s not the time for talkin’, kid. We have stuff to do. Get on your way.”  
“Aw, c’mon now mate,” came Philza, sliding off the roof with ease. He spread his wings out to steady his landing, putting a calloused hand on Techno’s rigid shoulder, “I think the kid has something you’d like, actually.”  
Unenthused as could be, Techno raised his eyebrows. Philza waved his hands in a gesture for Techno to calm down before pointing over at Ranboo. Ranboo took the hint, ears shooting up as he shoved his arm into the sack.  
“Our own personal Santa, hm?”  
Ranboo smirked at Techno’s playful taunt, feeling his guard go down drastically. The ender hybrid snickered, nodding while he prodded around the sack. His claws were able to hit the perfect texture - the texture of the exact thing he was looking for. He gripped it hard and pulled it out, the object catching the sunlight. Techno’s pupils grew wide.  
Ranboo was holding up a whole gold ingot.  
It was the perfect ingot - edges sanded down to perfection, body the glossiest he’d ever seen on an ingot - pure perfection. Instincts kicked in like a drug, loud guttural squeals leaving his mouth as he snatched the gold ingot away from the younger, causing the latter to ‘vrrp’ in shock. Even Phil was left in surprise. The tusked man sprinted off, large body hastily maneuvering into the half-intact house.  
“...That could’ve...went better?” Ranboo shakily squeaked out, his sack left forgotten in the snow. Phil shook his head, chest vibrating in a volley of chuckles.  
“It went perfectly. It’s just piglin instinct for him to be obsessed with gold,” Phil leaned his back against the wall of the house. “This happens literally every time he sees the stuff. It never gets old.”  
“Is he okay though?” Ranboo’s tail twitched, head low.  
“Oh he’s over the moon right now I can guarantee you that. We can go see him if you want but you gotta be quiet.” Philza straightened himself, stretching his arms out to free his muscles from cramping. Ranboo’s face contorted into a half-smile. He nodded.  
\---  
Ranboo knew that Technoblade was a scarily powerful man…well...pig, and he knew that one wrong word could get his own head cut off and put over the fire on the wall by the ‘Blood God’. But this wasn’t The Blade he was looking at. This was something totally different. Ranboo tried to keep back a chuckle as he and Phil peered in from the cracked open doorway. Techno was sat on his lazily put together bunk, giant pupils scanning over the gold full of sparkles. He kept rolling the ingot around in his paws, twitching nose diving in every few turns to take in the metallic smell of the pure material. But what really got Ranboo wanting to fall to the floor laughing was Techno’s rarely ever seen tail, the curled appendage wagging like no tomorrow.  
“I’m sure he’ll thank you later. Just give him time.” Phil snickered in a whisper, hand coming to pat the younger’s back. Ranboo smiled, bouncing on his heels.  
“I’m just glad I could do something for him.”  
And just like that the rest of the night went as smooth as softened butter. Phil and Ranboo spent some quality time together, cooking dinner together and reading some old texts until they fell into slumber on the couch while Techno stayed upstairs, gold ingot pressed up to his chest with a smile as he fell asleep as well.


	5. Sapnap & BadBoyHalo - Burn Baby Burn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually wasn't a request, lol. I've had a really bad few days and I wrote this to...eh...cope? Sorta? It made me feel better to write and get my mind off stuff. Will be working on requests, no worries!
> 
> Also Sapnap has attention issues in this fight me about it <3

“Come on! I know you can do it!”  
The child’s cheeks puffed back up in frustration, face painted in blotches of red. His small, clawed hands were outstretched, palms facing forward. The tiny body vibrated as the color in his face slowly phasing into a purple.  
“Ooooh-ohoh nononono, okay, okay, you can stop now Sappy!” BadBoyHalo shook his hands, running over to his youngling. He knelt down quickly and grabbed the two stubby arms gently, prompting Sapnap to breathe in hungrily.  
“Daaad! I almost had it that time! Why did you stop me?” The seven year old cried out, wiggling out of the demon’s grasp. Bad shook his head, sighing. The growling from the small hybrid had reminded him of himself when he was younger, albeit a little less...brash. He wrapped his arms around his child, hauling him up into his lap, the unforgiving ground of the Nether emitting a strange sort of comfort to the two demons. Sapnap snuffled, wiggling around his father’s lap, fangs poking out from his top lip as he gazed around the realm. Once Bad had gotten all the thoughts he’d wanted organized in his head, he tapped his hyper boy’s hip.  
“Lookie here bud, I know that you really want to get this fire stuff under control but I don't think your body can’t handle it right now…” He spoke quietly and softly, a gentle hand running through the small mop of black hair.  
“I’m big! I can do it! I can do it just like you can!” Sapnap hissed half playfully, balling up the fabric of his father’s jacket and pulling on it - a sign that he wanted to be let go. Bad complied hesitantly, letting the boy slip out from his lap.  
“One more time! If I can’t-can’t do it this time then I’ll stop for today. Promise!”  
“Okay. Pinky promise.”  
Sapnap’s smile blinded Bad, the boy skipping up to his dad to hold his small pinky finger out. Bad happily hooked his own pinky finger with his son’s.  
___

Sapnap and Bad walked side by side through the Nether, Bad’s tail swaying playfully at his grown son’s legs like he used to do when he was younger. It elicited a few laughs, but nothing beyond that. It was hard having his baby be so grown up - he wasn’t ready for it in the first place. It was like yesterday they were standing right here in the Nether...near this...exact spot?  
Bad halted, Sap noticing this out of the corner of his eye and stopping as well. He wiped the sweat from the side of his head, “What’s up Pops?”  
“Do you remember what this place is?”  
Sapnap hummed to himself, dull-colored eyes drinking in his surroundings. He squinted as he thought about it, gazing into every detail of every rock and every crevasse surrounding him and Bad. Sapnap hummed in a higher pitch, scratching his stubbled chin.  
“Nope. Can’t say I do.” He admitted with a shrug, looking at Bad in his white glowing eyes. It must’ve been important to Bad though - the man was ecstatic. The bat-like wings on Bad’s back flapped happily, hands coming up to his mouth.  
“This is where we trained Sappy! Remember when we tried to get your fire powers working?” His sharp toothed smile was wide. Sapnap had to say it was pretty infectious, finding himself smiling as well with a hint of confusion. He couldn’t have guessed what happened next but it wasn’t _too_ surprising.  
“Let’s try again!”  
Sapnap’s eyebrows shot up, hands snaking into his pockets as he looked his father up and down as if to question if he was actually being serious. When Bad gave back an even more excited look back at him, Sapnap figured Bad wasn’t tugging on his chain this time.  
“Are you sure? That shit hurt the last time I tried.” Sapnap spoke, wistfully looking down at his exposed arms. It was barely noticeable, but if you looked at his forearms close enough you could make out small mottled scars and burns from the countless attempts of summoning hellfire. He was dead set on controlling the arcanian force when he was younger, he could remember that much, but what he remembered clearly as day was the uncontrollable burning and exhaustion that came with it. He could feel his heart leap into his throat as he looked down at the ground.  
“First of all, language. And second of all, I don’t think you’ve seen yourself around overworld fire, Sappy,” BadBoyHalo closed in with a hand coming to rest on Sapnap’s shoulder, pulling his son closer. “You and fire have a _connectection._ It listens to you. Hellfire is naturally the next step to take.”  
Sapnap blinked back his surprise, fingers twitching in a reaction. It was as if they wanted to try just as bad as his father wanted to see it. And who was Sapnap to let down one of the closest people in his life?  
He backed away from the demon and clapped his hands together, newfound determination bubbling to the surface, “Alright. Let’s get the show on the road!”  
BadBoyHalo took the next half an hour in stride. He made sure his son was prepared for his first fire summoning attempt in years, prepping like a man on...well...fire. Bad had finished wrapping Sapnap’s hands and forearms with fire-proof bandages that his adopted son kept on his person at all times, using his claw to sever the connection to the uneven roll. He tied them up rightly, giving his work a good look over.  
“You ready kiddo?”  
“I’m not getting any younger.”  
Bad nodded. Carefully, he stretched Sapnap’s arms outwards, maneuvering his palms to face outwards like he did all those years ago. It filled his heart with some kind of longing. A bittersweet nostalgia for the old days.  
For Sapnap, the experience of just being put back into form was already sending him down a lane of memories he never remembered losing in the first place. It was blurry from age, but he could picture himself in the same position. The same position that caused him to sob after hours of focus that he barely managed.  
“I’ll talk you through it, don’t worry.” Bad’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts, something he was thankful for. Sapnap nodded his head, breathing in deeply before letting it out through his lips. The tall demon slowly retreated, wings coming out in instinctual protection of his own body. He could feel the fiery spirit billowing in his son. It was just a matter of time.  
“Breathe. Just breathe.”  
Sapnap followed the directions given, closing his eyes as he found a warm, gentle peace in the way his lungs emptied and filled.  
“Now, think. Think about _fire._ Our element, the _demon’s_ element. It’s our birthright to control it. And you will to! You just have to breathe...yeaaah, yeah! That’s it Sappy! I knew it!”  
Sapnap, his entire frame shaking from the force he was exerting, flinched while he cracked one of his eyes open. His hands were...bright! The deep crimson flames dancing around his fingertips made his entire face light up just as brightly, jumping in place. The fire spouting from his fingers grew even more at the sudden jump in emotion, the blaze erupting and crawling up his forearms.  
Oh, this was gonna be fucking epic.


	6. Dream & Techno - Glitter Doesn't Mean Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream forgot he could be poisoned by gold, apparently  
> real good fuck up there pal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request from: @sadinsomniac  
> Messed with the request a tinnnnyyy bit i guess? lol  
> CW/TW: Blood, Dead Animal, Animal Hunting, Throwing up(?)  
> ___  
> This took like 5 hours so thats kinda why the ending is shit i guess  
> I have my new job tomorrow morning and im hella nervous so writing this helped a bit so thats good! lmao <3

A buck rushed out from the snow caked bushes, screaming and grunting out into the wilderness as it expertly avoided scattered rocks and dirt blocks. Close behind was the giant piglin Technoblade, a bloodstained axe held in his paw while he gave chase. He kept his free paw over his golden eyes, assuring his sight on the target that was currently getting a little too far away for his liking. The male deer, now out of its initial panic phase, began to use natural provided obstacles to his ability. Hooves clacked as the deer leaped utop boulders, straying off from the hunting path that was carved when the server first started. Techno grunted and fell into a halt, leaning forward as he fed his lungs with air. He watched his game briefly as it turned into the dense wild. Then he grinned.  
“Alright! He’s in position! Make me proud!” Techno hollered, lowering his guard. His ears stood up, listening to the distant sound of hooves beating against the earth.  
And then it all stopped.  
His smile widened, wasting not a moment more to follow the snowy tracks that the animal left behind. He left his own hoof marks behind as he stumbled up a few rocks and ledges.  
“Not my caaape…” He grunted when his royal red cape got caught on a stray twig sticking out of a frozen creek. Techno opted to rip a hole in it anyway, setting himself free to get back to where he estimated the deer to lay. To his delight, he came upon the server's admin standing over a bleeding buck.  
The young man in green was panting, knuckles pale. His hands were both latched onto a set of rather decorative dual blades, both ivy green weapons dug deep into the dead animal below them. Coming down from the high of a takedown, Dream took care in leaning backwards, stepping off the brown and red mess.  
“Good job man.” Dream panted, wiping the sweat from his hairline that barely peeked out from under his mask. Techno shrugged, piglin crouching down at the front of the deer. He took the buck’s head into his paws, beginning the post-kill ritual he did after every hunt. Dream stood on the sidelines, awkwardly looking away from the large pink beast as he ripped the blades free. He blinked as he blankly watched the two knife marks cry dark crimson.  
When Techno finished his thanks, he stood back up with a very piglin-like grunt, flashing a respectful smile at his hunting partner, “Help me cut this big guy into parts?”  
___

When Techno invited Dream over for dinner, the thin boy couldn’t resist. He hadn’t eaten any fresh meat in days, usually settling for slightly hardened loaves of bread accompanied by the occasional rotten egg or shred of beef he was lucky enough to get his hands on. Dream was a busy man! He didn’t have time to cook or hunt, he had things to do! So the invitation to eat freshly cooked venison turned up he smiled wider than his mask.  
That’s how he got here - sitting at Techno’s scratched up dining table in an equally torn up birch chair. His green spaded tail flared behind him as he picked idly at the ends of his black fingerless gloves as he waited for dinner to be served. Dream felt like he was about to rip his gloves apart before Techno stepped in, one plate in each hand and a...was that a royal styled apron?  
Techno seemingly read the shock from under the white mask, “I ain’t gettin’ blood on my fur bro.”  
Dream laughed it off, rearranging himself in the chair to seem more proper. His mouth nearly turned into a waterfall when the dish was set out in front of him. The venison was cooked to perfection - a deep brown on the outside and a slight pink on the inside, all drenched in a thin blackberry sauce. Once Techno dropped the fork for his guest, Dream went to town immediately. The rest of dinner went without a hitch, the both of them soon retiring to the couch to talk about their various adventures they’ve had while apart. When the sun died, Techno’s features began to pinch together a bit more.  
“You’ll be okay out there?”  
Dream couldn’t say he was surprised about the inquisition, after all the time they’ve been spending together it was only natural that they started to stitch together a brotherly bond. He eyed the door.  
“I mean...I think so? I dunno. Weather is crazy around these parts.” He spouted out honestly, hands clutching the cushion below him as he thought about the last time he traversed the arctic alone. It wasn’t a very happy experience to say the least. Techno’s eyes narrowed, the action alone causing his scar across the left side of his face to itch. He shook his head, sighing.  
“Then you stay here then.”  
“Would that be cool with you orrr?”  
Techno grunted, “Yeah? I’m not **that** heartless.”  
Secretly relieved he didn’t have to go back to his shared house with George and Sapnap completely soaked, he let himself fall back into the couch cushions. The pig twitched his snout, the nostalgia of him and his brothers hanging out on a late night seeping back in his body. Ears flopping to the sides of his head, he leaned back as well, figuring that one more addition to the family of mostly brothers wouldn’t hurt. It clicked then that if he really wanted Dream to be officially assimilated into the family, he’d have to perform yet another ritual. Without a word, Techno got onto his hooves and took off up the ladder. Dream jumped at the move, wiggling in his seat so he could catch a glimpse of a swirly pig tail before the beastly man disappeared up to the second floor. His head shifted to the side, mask threatening to fall off. Before he could think about calling out to his friend, the pig was already sliding down the ladder with his cape almost hitting him in his own face. Techno galloped over with a strangely placed smile on his snout, carrying something very...gold.  
Actually...it was gold!  
Dream, knowing Techno pretty well by now, knew that the pig man was obsessed with gold. He didn’t hold it against him though, it was in his nature. It didn’t hurt anyone either, so what was the harm? That said, you could imagine the surprise that jolted through Dream when the gold nugget was shoved into his gloved hands. Dream’s gaze shot up at Techno, immediately noticing how his golden pupils were enlarged - a side effect of being around his most treasured thing Dream had assumed.  
“Th-Is this for me?” He managed to babble out, his voice cracking at the end of his question. He cleared his throat while Techno nodded his head, tusks poking out in his wide smile.  
“To, uh, y’know, solidify you as one of my own.” Techno spoke fast. Dream could notice how extremely out of character he was, finding it just a _little_ funny. A small giggle left him, rolling the small nugget around in his palm whilst he admired it’s shine. He had to admit - Techno kept his gold in incredibly good condition. He accepted the gift wholeheartedly, reaching out to pat Techno on the shoulder. Said man let out a soft noise, pig nose twitching happily.  
__

When Dream woke up in a cold sweat, he knew something was wrong. Very wrong. He barely had the energy to sit up, limbs feeling like sacks of rock. Dream’s hand snaked up to his face, fingers rubbing his sweaty face softly, lime green eyes half lidded. How the fuck did his body deteriorate so fast? It could’ve been a cold from being out in the snow all day...but then again Dream’s inner body heat kept him rather safe from that strain of bacteria. Could the deer have been a carrier of a disease? Dream doubted it - that deer was as healthy as it got with horns big as the ones they both dragged home. He kept going over different ideas in his mind over and over again, not noticing how his consciousness was slowly fading in and out. The fuzziness draped over his mind like a blanket, eyes slipping closed, the ideas in his head slowly deteriorating into random words on a string. He was about to drop entirely back into sleep when his eyes shot right back open, stomach lurching loudly. The acid that flew up into his throat was enough of a warning. Dream scrambled upwards, pushing the couch throw he was using as a blanket off him. His green wings sprouted out from his back, his Dreamon instinct demanding as such in a form of a defensive panic maneuver. Dream paid it no mind, only focused on getting to the bathroom on time. Nearly falling every other step, he slammed his hands into the walls to steady himself.  
Everything was starting to blur together by the time he was in the middle of the short hallway, door to the bathroom just a few feet away. The gagging had already started when he weakly slammed it open, dropping to his knees with his hands still locked around the doorknob. Stinging his throat, bile began to dribble out of his mouth without permission. Panic shot through his limbs, providing the last bit of adrenaline he needed. Dream scurried to the toilet, shoved it open, and let loose.  
Of course, all the noise had woken up the owner of the house. It didn’t take long for Techno to find the poor boy limply hanging off the porcelain, freckles, folded wings and tail glowing a faint green in the dull darkness.  
Techno wasn’t one for comforting, but if he’d be damned if he didn't try his best.  
“D-Dream, dude, what’s up? What’s the matter?” Techno’s voice boomed to catch the sick one’s attention. He crouched down, paw wrapping around one of Dream’s lukewarm hands. By Notch he wished he could’ve ignored the bold, yellow-ish veins that painted the boy’s skin brightly. Through lifeless eyes, Dream looked up at Techno.  
“Is this a Dreamon thing or? Tell me how I can help I-”  
Dream blinked slowly, looking Techno straight on.  
Techno’s bright, gold eyes.  
Gold…  
OH!  
Dream kicked into gear, albeit very slow, and reached into his jacket’s pocket. Shaky fingers snatched the gold nugget he was gifted just hours ago. He looked back up at Techno, gritting his teeth as he slapped the nugget back into Techno’s open paw. Dream drew out a whine before letting his cheek smush back against the toilet seat’s rim.  
“This? Is it because of this?” Technoblade questioned feverishly. Dream just stared back. Sensing Dream wasn’t up for conversation, Techno helped the boy up off the toilet, gold nugget forgotten on the floor. After a few hisses and cries from ache, Technoblade finally got Dream in a fireman’s carry. And for the second time that night, Dream let himself slip back asleep.  
___

Huh.  
So he was alive?  
Dream had just woken up, the memories of last night a bit unsteady but still crisp enough for him to know what exactly happened. He caught the wet towel that fell off his forehead, letting it drop onto the floor next to the couch he was laid back onto sometime last night. He sat still for a moment, letting the new sunlight wash over his half blanketed form.  
He’d have to thank Techno later.


	7. Jschlatt - A Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jschlatt, the big man of Manburg, literally gets stuck under his bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by: @chillblaine
> 
> I've actually had this one done for a while but I was letting it sit to see if I could find a plausible way to end it.  
> Never happened!  
> Sorry its so short <:)

The day was going fine. Great even! The best a Monday morning could get in Manburg! But noooo, he just HAAAD to get stuck under his bed.  
For a usual person, going in and out from under the bed would be no problem. But Jschlatt wasn’t your ‘usual person’. The presidential figure was a ram hybrid, meaning he was born with tough keratin horns. Even though they’d get in the way a bit from time to time Jschlatt still took great pride in them. He wiped them clean daily and sanded them down when needed (they had the awful habit of trying to grow far enough to pop his eyes out). Schlatt really saw them as his prized possession. So imagine his panic when he found out that those same trophy horns were the reason why he was stuck under his bed. The pair had accidentally ripped through the bottom of the mattress, leaving them strangely stuck in between the mattress frame.  
Luckily for him, his sister was a giant worry wart. Captain Puffy was going on with her morning when she suddenly realized that she hadn’t gotten the usual ‘fuck you good morning i hate you’ text from her younger brother. Once she was done watering her various indoor plants, the sheep decided that it would be a good idea to go into Manburg and check on him. She knew well enough that just texting Schlatt endlessly would just upset him more if he was even upset in the first place, so she opted to take the walk to the presidential building instead to meet him face to face.  
When she got there however, she didn’t expect to see her small horned nephew; Tubbo. Her usual smile slipped upside down when she saw him just as nervous as she was on the inside.  
“Tubbs! Long time no see lil’ guy.” Puffy’s canter came to a stop a few paces away from him. Tubbo forced a smile at his aunt, the communicator he owned hovering over his heart, hand pressing it against his green dress shirt.  
“Hey Auntie. Hey, uh, have you seen Dad anywhere?”  
The question struck Puffy in the chest. It almost knocked the breath out of her. Sure, Schlatt would ignore Puffy to no end just to get a reaction or if he was really not up to chatting, but he **never** ignored his son’s texts no matter what state of mind he was in. The fact that Tubbo was standing outside the oddly quiet White House emitting an aura of fear and panic was a big problem.  
Something had happened to Schlatt.  
Puffy kept her cool - “I-I haven’t. But that's why I came. He probably just took a nap at his desk,” She started up the white granite steps. “Wanna come with?”  
Tubbo didn’t need to be asked twice. He took off like a rocket up the stairs, jogging past her and through the iron doors, head kept slightly down so his horns could ease the weight of the door open. It brought out a brief laugh out of Puffy as she wasn’t too far behind.  
___

“Daaaad!”  
“Schlatt?!”  
Jschlatt sighed heavily, drooped tail swaying as he listened to his family come closer and closer. A debate was going on in his head - should he let himself be known and live with the giant hole in his dignity or try to get himself out again. Seeing as how his horns were actually starting to get scratched mercilessly at the curl, Jschlatt figured he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter anymore.  
“In here!” He drew out an unhappy moan, trying to shuffle into the best position someone stuck in the bottom of a bed could be in. A few stomps against the wooden floor rang out before the door to his bedroom was slammed open.  
“Dad are y- op…”  
The sight of his father, defeated and flat on the floor, was almost enough to send him teetering off the edge of anxiety and into a pit of complete laughter. He swallowed thickly, clenching his fists as he bumped Puffy’s arm to make sure she wasn’t laughing either.  
“Well? Don’t just stand there you fucking idiots. Help.”  
Puffy rolled her eyes, “You know you’re not supposed to swear around the kid.”  
“I’ll consider it when you get me the fuck out!” Schlatt spat, body beginning to wiggle uncomfortably as he tried to tug his horns out. It was useless; horns painfully scraping away at the frame. He sucked in a quick breath, the pain being transmitted down into the thickness of his skull.  
“You pick up the frame and I’ll drag Dad out. Sound like a good idea?” Tubbo peeped nervously, already at the ginormous bed’s side. Puffy agreed with the plan, rolling up her sleeves.  
“If either of you crack my horns so help me Notch-”  
“Stop crying. You’ve always been such a cry baby, jeez.”  
Schlatt snorted angrily, fighting the urge to stomp when his child was so near. He had to set a relatively good example...even if he was trapped by his own furniture.  
Tubbo puffed up one of his cheeks, "Welp, guess it's time to get the oil to pop your old ass outta there."  
"WHAT?!"


End file.
